The Cats

Cats were worshipped in Ancient Egypt. I have a tiny reproduction of a cat statue that was placed in a royal tomb. I also have three live felines who still expect to be worshipped. Sometimes I think my entire function in life is to serve as a Cat Couch and Cat Feeding Machine.

The Ancient Egyptians used to adorn their cats with earrings and gold collars. I can't even get them to hold still to have their nails clipped, let alone pierce their ears. As for collars: I put one on Miss J once. She rolled over and yowled at the top of her lungs, obviously under the impression that the weight of the world had been placed around her neck. She was sure she would never be able to move again. The collar weighed less than a paper clip, I'm sure. It certainly wasn't solid gold.

Here they are, in order of age and status:

Sparkey

Spartacus Britannicus, Lord of the Tribe. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair... especially that piece of carpet I've clawed up. You won't like that at all.

Miss J

Julia Justinia Britannicus, Princess of the household. Pay attention to ME, or I'll yowl until I give you a migraine. Mighty huntress of the wild Terrycloth Hair ties. One-time Nemesis of Bubble.

Rest in peace, pretty Miss J! August, 2007

Bubble Cat

Paranoid lurker of many names, seen by few, master of many hiding places. Give me pancakes, doritos or cheese puffs, and a nice empty lap. Or a nice dark hiding place. In any event, get that camera out of my face!

Rest in Peace, Bubble Boy. You will be very much missed. August, 2005.